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David Samson has authored books for many of New York's top publishers including Random House, Simon & Schuster, St. Martin's Press, New American Library, Penguin, Signet, Hyperion, Adams Media, SPI Books and the Carol Publishing Group.
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THE JOY OF DEPRESSION
by David Samson

Depression is much more than a state-of-mind. It's a total way of living! And the perfect way to cope with all the stress of modern life. Learn the secrets of financial insecurity. Project negative charisma. Overcome the effects of a healthy childhood! Plus always remember: The best years of your life are still behind you! $10.95



MEN WHO HATE THEMSELVES -
AND THE WOMEN WHO AGREE WITH THEM
by David Samson

Here's the truth about Living, Loving, and Loathing! Why men suffer from PMS (Pre-Marital Syndrome). What "The Male Lie-Bido" has to say. Plus advice from Dr. Baby Ruth; Buy-Sexuality in Women; Aero-Phobics for Men; Impersonal Ads; and much more! $10.95



WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFIN
By David Samson

Are you reading Chicken Soup for the Departed Soul? Is Weed Killer now more important than Killer Weed? Has LSD come to mean Low Sodium Diet? Have you joined a 12 Step Program just to get up twelve steps? Are the Grateful Dead friends of yours who've visited Dr. Kevorkian? Then congratulations! This is the right book for you! $10.95



AMERICAN IDLE
The Anti-Motivation Handbook
By David Samson

Make "Positive Thinking" a thing of the past! David Samson is "The Master of Poor Performance." Martha Stewart and Donald Trump haven't consulted with him -- but you should! So overcome feelings of optimism! Achieve the stagnation you deserve! And remember those two little words that will forever set you free: WHY BOTHER? $10.95



THE MIDDLE AGE OF AQUARIUS
By David Samson

What's the dirtiest "F" word? Fifty! At least that's what Baby Boomers think. In this hilarious, yet poignant series of essays and observations, David Samson moves between hysterical riffs and touching stories of true life experience: He covers The Social Insecurity System; Afterlife Insurance; Exercises in Futility; Gucci Sushi; The OY of Sex; The Grateful Undead; plus why sixty is the new forty and other delusions! $14.95



THE O'REALLY FACTOR
By David Samson

Bill O' Really is always right -- far right! But he loves to spread liberal doses of humor around. Read as he rants about: Al Gore, Al Qaeda, The ACLU, UCLA, The Homeless, The Vacation Homeless, Gay Marriage, Gay Divorce, Health Insurance, Wealth Insurance, Operators in India, Operators in Indiana, and much more! Tune into The O' Really Factor today. It's totally unfair and unbalanced! $10.95



HOW TO BE FUNNY WHEN YOU OWE MONEY
By David Samson

Scared to answer the phone? Don't worry! Because now when they ask for money, all you do is act funny. Just play the special sound effects when they call. You'll have a ball! Learn The CIA Paranoia Ploy; The Farting Fiasco; The Multiple Personality Maneuver; and many more! With Funny Guy's guidance you'll never hang up on another creditor. Cause you'll be giving them all the Hang-Ups! Book with FREE downloadable Sound Effects: $10.95



HOW TO GET GOD TO RETURN YOUR CALLS
By David Samson
Feeling disconnected from God? Suspect your calls never even go through? Paranoid about being snubbed at the Heavenly Level? Well, worry no longer! Learn how to access God's private line. Cut through Cosmic Clutter and top His "Must Get Back To Immediately" list. Hundreds of proven techniques to get the answers you deserve! $10.95



MASTURBATION FOR MORONS
A Do-It-Yourself Handbook
By David Samson
The very first book for Mono-Sexuals! Find out why two people are one person too many. How to be your own best lover. The issue of Mono-Sexual marriage. Avoiding stains on your reputation. What to do when things get out of hand. Stiffening your resolve in the face of adversity. Yes, this is one handbook you won't be able to put down! $10.95



CLUB DEAD CLUB DEAD
Have The Best Time Of Your Afterlife!

By David Samson
Congratulations! You have been pre-approved for membership in Club Dead, an out-of-this-world resort with an infinite amount of amazing activities. It’s a whole new life – or should we say – LIFELESS style! Let’s face it. As a newly arrived angel, you don’t want to just wing it. So don’t make any grave mistakes! Make sure you know all your options before your FINAL deadline. Purchase this valuable while you’re still alive. It’s absolutely the right book for those who haven’t left…YET! $14.95

Buy Club Dead Now!
Use;ess Knowledge

USELESS KNOWLEDGE
by Joe Edelman and David Samson

With hundreds of fascinating but totally worthless facts and quizzes, this is the best way to cure migraines caused by the Information Age. True, your trivial self will be totally worthless to society, but you'll certainly get invited to a lot more parties! $11.95



Is He For Real?

IS HE FOR REAL?
by David Samson and Dr. Elayne Kahn

Separate the cream from the creeps! Because here men's secret signals about love and romance are finally exposed! This powerful and amusing book is spiced with intimate details. Know what kind of lover he is -- before going to bed. Now get the love you desire -- the love you deserve! $12.95



Is He Mr. Right?

IS HE MR. RIGHT?
by David Samson and Dr. Elayne Kahn

Is he ready to commit -- or should he be committed? Does he want to build a relationship -- or tear you down? Should you wed him or shed him? This fact-filled manual picks up where "Is He For Real? leaves off. Is He Mr. Right? It would be wrong to buy any other book to find out! $12.95



Do Reality Checks Ever Bounce?

DO REALITY CHECKS EVER BOUNCE?
by David Samson
Illustrated by Martin Archer

Is your inner child adopted? Do cold fronts have warm behinds? Should liver transplants come with onions? Obviously, these can't be answered by any person -- any sane person! Plus each outrageous page is hilariously illustrated. You won't be able to stop laughing! $9.95



The Official Millennium Survival Handbook

THE OFFICIAL MILLENNIUM SURVIVAL HANDBOOK
by David Samson and Peter Bergman

You're not out of the woods yet! Find out what you need to know all way up to the year 2999. Because the new Millennium will be an equal opportunity annihilator. Lawyers, arsonists, dentists will all find themselves in the same boat as you -- namely the Titanic! Written with Peter Bergman of the legendary Firesign Theater! $9.95




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by David Samson



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